just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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