Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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