when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
