The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
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My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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