just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
