I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
