You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
