Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize