I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I will be naked everywhere
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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