white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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