Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
