we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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