I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
