Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
His nipple licking is glorious
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