I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
