4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
