Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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