I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
