hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
please come you make the beer taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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