He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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