great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
