By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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