omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
