OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
