kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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