If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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