and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize