I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
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Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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