I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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