No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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