R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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