Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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