My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
