Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
