come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
