yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize