Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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