Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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