so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
