Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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