Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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