I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
