Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
