just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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