Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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