Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
