So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
