My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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