Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
