You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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