I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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