It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
