i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
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i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
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pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.