Barsexuality is the new black.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
