I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
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do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
vagina is talking i cant
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
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It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.