Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I heard we made out
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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