The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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