I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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