the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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