I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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