he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod