I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?