Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years