The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago