Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?