does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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