The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
