my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
