she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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